No Fun

It has been a while since I’ve posted here. One of my goals for the new year is to get back into a rhythm of blogging.

So we begin with a new reflection on parenting. Since the last time I posted anything both of our kids had birthdays, and so we now have a 3-year old and a 1-year old. Which is crazy. Where did the time go.

Anytime I think about parenting I think about the title from Jennifer Senior’s excellent book.

Some people freak out about this title because it feels sacrilegious to question being a parent at any level. Others roll their eyes in a jaded, sort of, “tell-me-something-I-don’t-know” way.

I find most parents, especially of younger kids, tend to go to one of these extremes. Happy-to-be-doing-this roboticness, or totally unsubtle resentment that these little people have robbed them of their “old life.”

Is there a better way to hold the tension?

Parenting is certainly not “no fun.” I have so much fun with my kids. Especially now that they are able to do a lot more and play and jump and talk (well more so the older than the younger, but they are both very interactive in their own ways).

But it is hard.

Our youngest has had a much more difficult time with teething than the older and I’ve spent a few midnight moments in the kitchen trying to rock him to sleep with the help of the humming refrigerator. Precious moments in some ways, but not exactly fun.

Discipline: incredibly important, but not a hoot!

Parenting is also not “all joyful.” There are some painful moments of recognizing one’s own selfishness and broken patterns of behavior.

There are painful moments of seeing those patterns show up in your kids.

There are painful moments of seeing selfish and broken patterns show up in your kids that you know didn’t come from you. They’re just there.

There’s an incredible potential in these tiny humans to break our hearts and if you have any kind of imagination you can see that potential early on.

And yet, there is so much joy. Dessert Friday. Visiting Grammy and Papa and G. Going to the park. Playing catch. Jumping Jacks. Reading books. Dinner together. When the oldest disobeys and then says to you: “Daddy, I want to be in right relationship.”

Live with that paradox parents. The old life is gone, this is a new stage, a new season. And it’s messy and frustrating and thrilling and boring and good.

And it will be transformative, if you let it.

Seeing vs. Slowing

Today’s post is from my sister’s blog. She writes excellent stuff over at Momma’s Musings. Check her out and enjoy this post on “seeing”.

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Today, my Baby climbed up the park structure. All by herself. In footy pajamas.

My post-toddler, pre-pre-schooler neatly stacked 27 pairs of underwear. And left them that way.

My 4 and 3/4’s kid, who is adamant and clear that he is not 4 and 1/2 or 5, but 4 and 3/4’s, reminded his brother to work hard, because a man takes responsibility, after all.

And I got to watch my kindergartener chew vigorously on the end of her pencil, in rapt concentration as she was following her teacher’s instructions in order to draw a scientist working in Antarctica. Kindergarten is intense.

Anyway, I was struck at the end of this day, how fast it’s all happening, this growing up and getting bigger part of life. We’re not a busy family, by American social norms anyway, but I can’t stop the rapid growth that is leaping through my children’s brains and bones every single day.

I feel like it’s all the rage right now in Christian spirituality to talk about going slow. And perhaps this is the needed Word of the Lord for many.

But for me, I just want to see. Slow is not happening. Devotion is happening. Sleep is happening. Sabbath rest is happening. Togetherness instead of busyness is happening.

But slow is not happening. My 3-year-old can whoop me on a scooter race and my 4 and 3/4’s kid can already outrun me. Life is fast around here.

I can’t change the speed at which 4 children under 6 years of age grow. It’s a miracle to behold, moment by moment sometimes. Yesterday, it was diapers. Today they are drying dishes and memorizing the Nicene Creed. Amazing.

I can’t make it slow.

But I can see.

Jesus models this for me. He is always going to this place or to that place, walking here and there, traveling about. And he is seeing. He sees wherever he goes. He looks, notices, attends to with his eyes. He doesn’t miss what is happening, even in his busyness and comings and goings and growings all around him.

And not only does He see and see clearly, but he is astoundingly accurate in diagnosing heart problems and getting right down deep to the root. He sees and then he looks all the way down to the very bottom. And then he casts light, Himself, right onto the situation or the person. Light in the dark, heart exposed, known. He sees and He knows.

I want to be a Momma like that. I cannot slow the natural fastness of my children growing up. Slowness is not going to be the goal around here anytime soon. But I can learn to see, to see them and know them. I can learn from Jesus how to get right down to the heart of it.

Bruno Mars on Wilding Out

Reflecting on his wild years:

“You begin to lose yourself, you know…a lot of men think the more women they get, the better. But…you lose a piece of yourself with every time you do that. If you are out there wilding out, drinking and partying, that’s not real life.”

On marriage and having kids:

“That’s happiness.”

Full Term

Today marks 37 weeks of this pregnancy, which means we are in the safe “zone”. This baby can now come at any time.

We are ready. Of course, if there is one thing I’ve learned from everyone we’ve talked to, we aren’t. No one is ever ready. But, we’ve been waiting for this for almost a year now, it was about this time last year our first pregnancy started. We are ready for pregnancy to be over and for parenthood to begin.

I can’t wait to be a dad. I can’t wait to get to know this kid’s personality and quirks and to find out what it looks like.

I’m as ready as I will ever be. Let’s do this!