Check Your Mouth

I had the opportunity to share some thoughts on words at a church in California last weekend. Words have been on mind.

Which is partly why I find the following to be so fascinating:

Our two-year old daughter is growing more and more verbal with each passing day, but still struggles to fully express herself, the way that toddlers struggle with their emerging vocabularies. It can be frustrating at times. Super cute at others. And, incredible enlightening as well.

For example, whenever Marina is struggling with her attitude, or obedience, or just general human politeness we will ask her:

“Where are your manners?”

Or,

“Where is your happy heart?”

And she will point to her tongue and say: “Mouth.”

This, as I mentioned, is super cute. It is also deeply profound.

In fact, I think there is a proverb about this: [I actually enjoy the King James version here.]

“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” [Pr. 4:23]

I also think Jesus had something to say about this:

“…for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” [Luke 6:45]

Many times we are asked to examine our hearts. And this is a good and worthwhile practice. But, perhaps we also need to examine our words. Because our words reveal what is in our hearts.

So what are you talking about? What are you complaining about? What are you dwelling on? What subject can you never drop? What conversation do you always find yourself in? Are your words bringing life and joy and peace, or death and frustration?

Where is your happy heart? Check your mouth!

3 Things I Learned From All Those Old Notes

The other day I posted this…

Purging/Downsizing in preparation for move to new apartment. One thing I’ve learned going through old boxes: In Pacific Christian Fellowship we wrote A LOT of notes!

…on Facebook.

There truly were a lot of notes. Boxes and files and folders full. Sheets of paper, post cards, picture albums, even a paper plate: all filled with words of affirmation. I guess this is how we communicated love pre-facebook.

In all honesty, I threw much of it away. Some of the notes were redundant, some had lost context over the years, some were just inside jokes. But there were many, many gems, and I saved those.

In ministry there are all sorts of channels for feedback. Very few of those channels are helpful.

You open yourself up to a lot of cuts in this line of work. Sometimes there are really big things: a big rejection, someone you thought was on your side who bails, someone who takes an offhanded statement and uses it against you. Sometimes there are really small things: comments, distancing, the reality that you ask most of the questions.

That’s the hard stuff. But then there are the beautiful words that good people speak and write to you and those words are gold.

There were a number of themes that stood out to me as a I read through all of those notes:, but these were the Big 3:

You are funny
You ask really good questions
You should be a pastor

Why is it so important to be reminded of these themes”

From time to time I’ll hear the message, directly or indirectly, that I am not fun. Fun and funny are two different things, but it was so, so good to be reminded that at one point in my life I was fun(ny) (a ringleader of fun, no less). I believe that’s still in me.
Several notes revealed that not only were my questions “good”, they could also be “intimidating.” My current students will have a good chuckle about that. Still true. Sometimes we need to be reminded about our true selves and other times we need to see that what we do and love has been there all along.
Welp. I’ve been told I should pastor ever since college. Even though pastoring pushes me out of what is comfortable based on my personality and preferences, there’s been an internal and external push, an undeniable call, to help people on their journey back to God.

The moral of the story, dear readers, is hold on to these words of affirmation that people give you: they are gold, they are sustenance, they are life-giving.

Call Me, Maybe and Some Thoughts on Minimalism

There’s a popular pop song at the moment titled “Call Me, Maybe” (if you want to see an incredible version of the song, CLICK HERE). When it comes on the car I don’t change the channel (it is rather catchy), but my curmudgeonly (soon to be a dad) self gets all riled up. I yell at the male character in the song: “Don’t call maybe, DO IT. Let your yes be yes, and your no be no!”

I actually used this very point in my teaching this past Sunday (you can listen here).

We live in a “maybe” culture, and the result is cluttered, careless words. Rabbi Joseph Telushkin says: “We choose our clothes more carefully than we choose our words.”

Which, of course, leads to some thoughts on minimalism. For Amy and I this has become our new obsession. We began to have some talks about simplifying our life when our good friend Ryan alerted me to this blog, which sent me over the edge.

Now, we are adding a child to our family and with such an addition comes stuff. And yet our goal is to simplify, minimize our stuff, and have a more orderly home. Or at least a less cluttered home.

Talking about words this week at REUNION made me think about the beauty of “yes” and “no”. When Jesus speaks about words, speech, and commitments in Matthew 5, I find many connection to minimalism…this is minimalist speech. Doesn’t mean we don’t talk or that we have nothing to say.

But our speech is simple, careful, uncluttered.

This is a goal for all of life, perhaps Jesus was on to something by beginning with how we use our words.