A year ago I dropped Amy and the kids (one of whom was only 4 weeks old) off at the airport. I then turned around and began packing up a yellow Penske truck with all our worldly belongings.
Some sweet friends helped with the packing and the cleaning.
Then there was a pipe to smoke, a meal to eat, a few final goodbyes, and then off to the airport again to pick Dad up and start the drive west.
And so, here we are. A year in California. Almost a year in Oakland.
I’ve been through 3 major transitions in the last 10 years. First, Salinas to Durango. Then Durango to Boston (with the added bonus of bachelor to married man). And then Boston to Oakland.
Each transition involves a loss and a gain.
An embracing and a letting go.
Over the past year, I’ve actually really struggled to know what those things were as I’ve processed this experience and this transition.
It may turn out that as another year comes and goes I discover that what I thought I was embracing and letting go of where not really the thing.
But, this is the best I can say at this point in time, a year out.
Letting go? The thing I was a part of had an aura around it. It was cool. It was new and fresh and moldable and had good graphic design and your pulse moved a little faster when you heard about what we were up to.
There were questions and debates and creative thinking and good books were read and discussed and argued over and the envelope was pushed.
Not so much in the new thing. Now there’s more of a weekliness, a grind, a steady pace, and a walking with brokenness in broken places.
Bottom line: it’s not as cool.
But, the embracing.
The embracing of being wanted, instead if simply needed. Of transformation, not just creation.
Embracing being embraced.
Embracing all the strange and unexpected steps that led to this particular moment in this particular place.
The point is not which is better. The point is living into the moment and opportunity that is present right here, right now.
I’ve never been good at that, so the opportunity to learn how to do this is a gift.
To embrace.
stephenboutrywords 