A Faithfulness Deficit

We are immersing ourselves in the story of the early church on campuses around Boston this year and the conversations about Acts have been fantastic as our students explore community, the Holy Spirit, and facing opposition.

One thing we see in the early stages of Acts is rapid growth. In fact, we are given some hard numbers: the movement grows from 120, to 3000, to 5000. After hitting 5000 we are given more general statements like “others continued to join them,” or “their numbers were added to.”

This growth has been pointed out in several conversations I’ve been a part of and each time students have been interested in retention. How many of those 3000 stuck around for the next day and the next day and the next day? 

Fascinating. I think it’s a great question, and I think it belies the transient nature of our larger culture. Sure, lots of people will check something out once, but how many will actually stick around.

We have a faithfulness deficit.

I am sure there is a lot more to be said about this. But this question has surprised me and intrigued me. There’s some cynicism behind it (no way that many people actually stick around), but there’s also some wonder involved (that many people stick around? hmmmm….something going on there).

Faithfulness is a huge challenge and sacrifice. It is a better story. It is an all too rare story in our culture today.

Actually Being In a Desert [Guest Post by Ryan McRae]

5 months ago, I burnt out of my job and moved to Afghanistan of my own free will. I’m attempting to reach over and punch the reset button on my life. Up until I boarded a plane to Dubai, my life had become crowded and full of distractions. Relationships were imploding around me and I felt this need, this compulsion (spiritual people would call it a “calling”) to get out of here.

All the things I depended on for my comfort and confidence were stripped away and shredded. My educational background—nobody cared about my Masters. My history? I didn’t have one here. My influence that I’d built up in the US—gone. I was in a foreign land, filled with war, without any of the tools I gripped onto. In other words, my idols were smashed and the temple I’d dedicated to myself had burnt down.

My depression for the first month can only be described as monumental. People asked me what the culture shock was like. It was like licking jumper cables connected to a 18-wheeler. I didn’t know military culture or Middle Eastern culture (which is a misnomer—the culture here is different from what you would find in Pakistan or Israel. It’s like saying American culture. Really? Which part? But
I digress.) I felt lost. I felt alone. And now when I utter the word “desolation”, I completely understand its meaning.

But this is exactly what happens when you reset your life. I’ve wiped the slate clean and now I’m forced to stare at the blankness. And I’m trying my best to handle the marker over to God instead of filling it up again with clutter and ego.

So how have I experienced God here, in this war zone?

I’ve been writing the Psalms out when I can. I keep a journal. One side, the psalm and I write a reflection on the other side. Right now I’m up to Psalm 58. The constant theme I’ve found so far is that God is a fortress. And I’ve seen my fortress that I’ve constructed—it’s a refrigerator box with a crayon scrawling that says “Ryan’s FOURTRESS. KEEP OUT!” It’s rain soaked and has burn marks on it. I’m reminded that I need to dwell in God’s fortress so when I pray I imagine it like I’m wandering around Minas Tirith seeing my friends and occasionally standing on the wall to see my tiny fortress, discarded.

I connected with the chaplain on my base and led worship with soldiers in the audience. I needed some place to serve and worship—and quick. But my joy has come from not having those idols bogging me down, not living every moment to impress someone, hoping they think I’m witty and hilarious.

Now, I don’t recommend you do what I did, head to war-torn country to find God. But I’d encourage you to find someone you love and trust and talk about the idols in your life. What do you lean on? What can you NOT do with out? Have that discussion and see what happens.

[Ryan McRae currently works in Afghanistan. He has written a book: A Quick and Easy Parent’s Guide to College that you can find here. Also, if you donate to his charity:water campaign, he will send you a haiku. Details are found here!]

Campus Ministry and The Great Emergence

I just finished Phyllis Tickle’s newest book, Emergence Christianity, and while I did not find it as compelling as The Great Emergence it did give me a lot to chew on. As she attempts to predict what the future of the church might look like in the West I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed with how important campus ministry is both to the present and the future.

Consider this statement:

“Given the Emergence concern about formal theology and seminaries, and given the declining figures and resources within Protestantism and possibly Roman Catholicism, who will become the Christian philosophers and ethicists among us, who will train them, who will provide for their work as a community of scattered but connected scholars?”

I wish I had the time to elaborate, but as I was reading I said, out loud, Campus Ministry! Not that CM is the answer to everything, but this is, in part, what we have been doing, what we aim to do, and it is role we are well suited to take on if this is how the trends continue to develop.

Journey Through the Psalms

I hope to get back into the normal blogging routine next week. One thing I have discovered is that I get about 3 times the amount of traffic by simply posting a picture of Marina. This may signal the end of my blogging career. Probably not.

I mentioned this before, but the Sojourn staff is blogging all school year through the Psalms. Please check out our work and follow this blog here. I highly recommend it!

Here are my first two posts:

Psalm 4

“Many, LORD, are asking, ‘Who will bring us prosperity?” (v. 6) How true is this question? In this election season everything seems to be geared towards the economy…how well off are we…are we better off now than four years ago?

Interesting and important questions. Maybe even more interesting, though, is this: what is prosperity? What does it mean, what does it require of us, to be prosperous? At what point are we prosperous “enough”.

There’s another word that shows up a few times in this song: heart. In some way the heart is tied to prosperity, security, peace.

What kind of prosperity does your heart seek? Where do you find security and peace?

The song ends with this: “You alone, LORD, make me dwell in safety.” (v. 8)

May you find true prosperity, security, peace, and safety in this great and faithful God of love.

And:

Psalm 10

Campus does not always provide an environment congenial to following Jesus. There are times, in fact, when the conditions are dead set against openness to the Divine. Almost as if things are intentionally designed to squash our imaginations, our sense of wonder, our ability to recognize God at work all around us.

This reality makes us question the worth of continuing the journey. Those who are not following Jesus have more fun, and they get away with it! They are applauded. They are praised.

We grow bitter or cynical, we retreat and grow quiet. Our wonder and imagination squelched. We might even fall into “us vs. them” thinking. We might feel sorry for ourselves.

When it seems like faithfulness goes unrewarded, remember this…someone is probably being taken advantage of by the revelers. Someone, the people who clean your school or make your food or sew your clothes, needs YOU, to speak up for them, to defend their cause.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself and remember this: your faithfulness to the ways of God are not about you feeling good about your spirituality. It’s about “defending the fatherless and the oppressed” (v. 18).Your faithfulness matters, not just to you, but to those in our world who need to be cared for.So stick with it, you can change world.

5 Thoughts On 6 Days of Parenting

  1. You really do not get a lot of sleep
  2. Watching our daughter grow and learn is a joy like no other
  3. I drive slower, care more about things like hand washing, and find organization and planning to be more important to me than ever before
  4. I care a whole lot less about what’s going on on the internet
  5. The best part of this journey, so far, is watching Amy be a mom. She is an amazing mother. Amazing.

A Letter of Gratitude

As the summer comes to a close it feels like an appropriate time to say “thank you”:

Thank you to our parents, who have supported us in a million ways for years, but especially during this pregnancy.

Thank you to our payer team who consistently remind us that we are not in this on our own.

Thank you to our financial supporters who make it possible for us to do collegiate ministry in Boston.

Thank you to those we have asked to join the team this summer. I know being asked for money isn’t fun, but we are humbled by your generosity and partnership.

Thank you to our students who were involved in DIG this summer, you helped rejuvenate me in so many ways.

Thank you to the BU leadership team for taking time out of your summer to Skype and chat and plan and dream. I am so excited to see how God will use you guys this semester.

Thank you to Stacey for taking the risk and moving out here to Boston. Thanks for throwing an awesome baby shower!

Thank you to our REUNION community (especially Jessica and the other ladies who helped with the shower), we are grateful for your friendship and support.

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for our baby!

Thank you to family and friends who helped provide supplies for this baby…we are so blessed in this area words don’t quite capture the awesomeness.

This list could go on and on…we are grateful and we are blessed.

Review: Thin Places

Today completes a three-week tour of books written by friends and acquaintances. We finish with Jon Huckins’ Thin Places. Here are four things I appreciated about this book:

  1. Jon and the Neiucommunities tribe pay careful attention to their context. They listen and respond, rather than impose.
  2. They believe that an integrated lifestyle is possible. This is probably my favorite part of the book. Sojourn sometimes takes some flack (externally and internally) for trying to do three things well (mission, church, justice)…some look at that and say, if you want to be a truly great non-profit only do one. It is important to have “integration heroes” and so this book was inspiring from that standpoint.
  3. They are all about leadership development. I love this emphasis and I will steal some of these ideas for my leadership development!
  4. The heartbeat of this book is for the neighborhood, and that is something I feel I need to recapture, so thanks for challenging me to more present in this place that I call home!

Review: Adventures in Churchland

I had two extremely formative experiences as a college student. My involvement with campus ministry through the InterVarsity chapter at Pacific forever altered the trajectory of my life. That is where Jesus found me and got a hold of my life.

The other experience(s) occurred in the form a monthly (sometimes more frequent) pilgrimage over the hill to Santa Cruz to a place called Graceland. Graceland started off as Santa Cruz Bible Church’s college and young adult ministry, then became a “church within a church,” and then eventually the leadership launched out on their own.

InterVarsity gave me the space to explore Jesus and my first halting attempts at leadership and ministry, and Graceland sparked my imagination for what a church could look like.

In particular, Dan Kimball, the lead pastor, taught interesting sermons, had interesting hair, and new all of the bands that I liked (back when I was a music snob). He is also an introvert and a deep thinker who wears black jeans all the time and his example was extremely helpful to me at that point in my life and journey towards full-time ministry.

For the last ten years I have read his books and blog and followed the Vintage Faith story from a distance. His most recent work is also his most personal: Adventures in Churchland. Dan has written an apologetic for the church, something desperately needed in a time when the church fails to capture the imaginations of so many in our culture.

Dan tells some hilarious stories as he outlines his personal journey from totally secular rocker to lead pastor and church apologist. He also spends a good part of the middle of the book reframing a couple of popular misconceptions about the church. Both are strong aspects of the book.

But where Dan really hits his stride is near the end, where he invites us to fully commit to this messy, beautiful thing called church. He compares the church to a mosh pit, this thing that is supposed to be fun and passionate but all too often leads to cuts and bruises. When this happens to us we almost always bail, in search of something better, more perfect. Instead of searching for perfection we should ask: “What mess will I choose to be in? And even more important, How might God use me to help clean up this mess?”

Finally, Dan describes individuals as God’s poema: a work of art, a work of a master craftsman. This individual work only becomes complete when part of a whole. “Without your contribution, the church is missing something that only you can bring.

Which is exactly right: sometimes we fail to get involved out of fear (this might hurt me), sometimes we refuse to get involved (because of a bad experience), sometimes we hold back (if I get rejected at least I didn’t give my best), and in each case everyone loses.

Everyone wins though when we lay down our agendas and roll up our sleeves and join in with God and others in the work he is doing. Dan’s journey from churchland to graceland is a beautiful story and I hope many people rediscover the good news that comes through being involved in a local church as a result of reading this book.

How Batman Helped Me Get My Swagger Back

There’s a scene about a third of the way through the newest Batman film (The Dark Knight Rises), where Batman makes his return after an eight year hiatus. He joins the pursuit of the criminal force in Gotham, bad guys who have hostages on the back of their motorbikes (who also are in the process of stealing a lot of money). However, the police force, the very group Batman is coming alongside of and trying to help, turns their attentions to the Batman, wanting to take down the killer of their beloved Harvey Dent.

While this is by no means a perfect analogy, the thought I had while watching the film was “this is so much like pastoral ministry/leadership.” There are obvious dangers in drawing comparisons between Batman and pastors, and yet I couldn’t help see the connection: too often it is easier to shoot Batman (or the pastor, or the leader, or whoever is trying to do something heroic) than go after the real mission (bad guys with hostages on motorbikes, or people trying to find their way back to God, or organizations with aspirations of changing the world).

When we take hits like this it becomes easy to hold back, or stop caring, or to do what Batman does and go off by ourselves and get into all kinds of trouble. In fact, Bruce Wayne does all three of those things throughout the film.

Batman’s solo operation does not end well. He ends up in “hell”, which is the worst, most unescapable prison in the world. Only one person has ever escaped and that person was a child who was born in this hell. Wayne is informed that he is a man of privilege and therefore does not have what it takes to get out.

My favorite part of the movie was the process Bruce Wayne goes through to eventually escape this prison. As a pastor I do ask myself, fairly often actually, why I put myself through this. Pastoral ministry is unnatural to me for so many reasons: I am an introvert, I enjoy privacy, I don’t love being in front of people, I am not fond of being examined, etc. But I do it, and I do my best to throw myself completely into this work because I love Jesus and he changed my life and there’s nothing else in the world I have done or could dream of doing that makes as much sense to me.

And yet, it takes chunks out of me. It breaks me. It can be painful.

Bruce Wayne is in this prison because his nemesis, aptly named Bane, has broken him (literally). Instead of killing him he’d rather let him suffer in hell. In this broken state, Wayne, with some help, begins to rehabilitate himself. And this is where it gets really good.

When a prisoner tries to escape everyone gathers around and sings a song called “rise”. The prisoner ties a rope around his waist and tries to climb up and out of the hole. At a key stage a big leap must be made, this is the point where everyone inevitably fails.

Wayne fails several times. Despite his passion, despite his new strength, despite his desire he cannot get out.

This leads to a conversation with two old prisoners. I’m paraphrasing but the conversation essentially goes like this:

Old guy: “Are you afraid to die?”

Wayne: “No, I’m not afraid to die.”

Old guy: “That’s the problem. You need to get that fear back.”

Fascinating! Here’s my translation: fighting bad guys is hard, it requires total commitment, and even though the juices are flowing and the strength is returning, death still seems easier than throwing himself fully back into the game. Wayne’s lack of fear belies an underlying sense of fatalistic defeat. He’s lost hope. Nothing really matters, it’s just a game.

To get the fear back, Wayne attempts the escape without the help of the rope. I love this twist. You would think the guy who doesn’t fear dying would be fine going off without the safety of the rope, but, paradoxically, it is this very ropelessness state that brings the fear back. And it is that fear that allows him to successfully make the leap and escape from the prison. To rise.

All of this to say: when we take on hits, when we give of ourselves and when people don’t like it or reject it or use it against us, death (literal or, more often, metaphorical) becomes the appealing option. We grow numb and apathetic and we don’t give our best and we don’t throw ourselves fully in to our work. We hold back.

I’ve always thought that it was fear that holds us back, and there are certainly ways in which it does. But fear, the right kind of fear, actually propels us forward. It reminds that there is a lot on the line. It lets us know this is not just a game, this matters, and we have to participate in it.

Near the end of the film Batman tries to talk another key character into joining him in the fight. The character says, in so many words, “get of here while you can, you don’t owe these people any more, you’ve given them everything.”

And Batman says, “Not everything, not yet.”